


I will pick the right book for you.

by Dretnoth



Category: Toaru Majutsu no Index | A Certain Magical Index
Genre: #IFDrabble, F/M, International Fanworks Day, International Fanworks Day 2020, Mother Of All FanFiction, Talking, spanking the girl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22512799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dretnoth/pseuds/Dretnoth
Summary: Touma Kamijou and 'the girl' walk into a book store, searching for ideas.#IFDrabbleFor ‘International Fanworks Day 2020’ challenge. [Rulles: Characters discovering fanworks about themselves.]





	I will pick the right book for you.

A certain boy and girl walk into a suspicious multi floored book store. The boy has black spiky hair, bad luck a blank expression. The girl has long white hair [ _She not Index_ ], which hat on head, wizard cloak handing from her shoulders and prank grin on face. 

The boy was, as always near girl, clueless. "So what are we doing here again? I fail find a point on how will this help me whit the incoming mock match, whit that all girls school. Especially if my guide is old, super perverted, fart in coat of sweet, young girl."

"Tcs, tcs, tcs." The girl whit almost evil grin, waved her finger whit 'no, no, you are wrong' expression. "If you think I will take you to 'adult section only' you little boy will be lonely tonight. This certain store is special, because it holds a work of unprofessional artist and novelist in physical form, which you can browse at please."

.

"Let me guess. You donate a large sun for this purpose, so at last one store will host you crap work."

The girl respond even whit wider grin. "Not quite, but close. On this place you can find even 'C' class work whit an authentic subscribe of author written whit real old armament, mixed next to commercial pro work. The clerks who run this place have a real sense for it."

.

They have passing card bazaar where sit a fat guy who have black eye glasses on his face even when he was inside of store. He try look like he came from story about old dessert city and mysterious wish granting lamp.

"So what about this guy who look like he selling a rare card game pieces whit prices so high that only rich philanthropist can afford?"

"That’s an 'Indian Poker', true rarity tan can be only found in 'Academic city', and a pain in many asses of those who cares about personal security. It’s a recorded dream that can be experienced only once, until you have ability to rewind the story back to start. Practically is a virtual dream reality that someone dreamed and you can re-experience it. If the author dream about practicing some sport, or play instrument, or just dream about what he study, then you get the experience, or skill, from the session to. Like how to jump more far to distance that you originally can. It's kind of a new gen life hacks. Some girls are really hooked up on those, so you can use it to you advantage or sold this Intel to some of you college for solid in return."

.

And they went into 'Fan-Fiction' section. They past lines of book shelves until they turn into a death end corner section of shop. It have shelves on both sides full of books, magazines, disk and more. On the end wall was a single bench whit small table for waiting book. On label of that section was described a Toaru section.

The White haired girl stop in middle of that section, turns into his companion and spread her arms. "Okay boy, in order to prepare you for you 'big day' we start whit something simple. Grab first thing that catch you gaze."

.

The boy gives wary boring expression as he lightly gazes about shelf. Then his sight catch something and his eyes widened in shock of surprise. "Wait a second!-- on that label-- isn't that?-- a Misaka, in wedding dress??! And the one in the groom suit…" He got astonished. "That’s me????????"

"Excellent choose my pupil." The girl grabbed the cardboard box package and start reading the text on back size. "Let's see-- Hmm. Our unlucky hero got himself wrapped up in political marriage whit a certain lighting tsundere princes and none of them can back out from the wedding. But in the day of marriage, the others girls from his harem overact and form a pact to stop the wedding at any cost. The world peace is on stake, and our heroes have no other option that fights for their, yet undiscovered love. What ending will the destiny bring to them?" The girl read then silently some technical data, until she nodded. "Oh I get it. It’s a collector  multi-pack containing: a thick novel book, side story manga, a full  digital game collection, and a full eleven season worth of anime. All content have fully or slightly different context for  still fresh entertainment .  Hmm... You hit a joker Level jackpot here." The girl praised him whit honest surprise on her face.

.

"That thing is so conventionally over powered, that if I hit it whit my right fist, it will not only get disappear, but a crack in time-reality will appear. Who will even founding this thing? If we talking by normal standards for 20 minutes episode, for at last 12 episode per short season, and multiplied it by 11 times. That's at last 44 hours of video, and I don’t count other formats. It's ridiculous for single wedding day!"

"Do not underestimate the burning flame of passion, that artists have. For someone profits are not the goal and they want the art get to the audience even if they have to pay for it. Hmm…" The girl studied the price label. "The price is fishing rood itself. It's either not too low or not too high, so it make you thing about it, if is actually worth it. In the end the amount of thinking about it make sure so many will take it, just because they spend so much effort thinking about it. So…" She looks at him and tries to hand the box over to him. "Buy it!"

.

"Of course, Senpai. After that, I will push it entirely up to you ass."

The girl stare at the box whit serious look, studying it. "Nope-- No matter what you think is possible, there's no way you can stuff all this into me."

.

On the other hand the boy have now really scary angry look on his face. "One day,-- one day, you will begging me to make joke."

"I can't, imagine you make joke. Of all persons I know-- I just can't imagine it."

.

The boy instantly grab a huge book from shelves, that have on night themed cover, plus white haired skinny boy whit red eyes and smash the girl head on.

Whit a painful groan, she got down on all for. " _'Ouch!'_ The sub-context was too heavy, and they call it light novel."

.

A second strike arrived immediately, and the girl spread over the floor. Whit a heavy though on his mind he blankly stare forward on shelf.

When the girl stands up, she looked in his direction a grabbed what was in his line of sight, but not seen by him. "Let's see…" On cover was a big luxuries wooden sail ship and a tropical island. She starts reading the back side text. "A certain full girl's school was on trip. Bud they crash landed on uninhabited island, due to fact that certain unlucky boy who has board the ship by mistake. As those pure maidens, are isolated from outside world and proper lady supremacy education, they start to experience 'the wild side' of their womanhood. For how long the boy can stay free from the girls 'heat'?"

.

A dark expression comes to the black haired boy face and the white haired red eyed boy strike for third time. Sending the girl on the shelf's, face first. Of course she drops the book about island on the floor.

As she slides down a new novel candidate to buy decide to leave the shelf, on his own will [ _due to shocks/vibrations from that girl_ ], and visited her face. It takes a moment for her to start move again and look at the book. "Who is this maiden, that forces itself on me in so forceful way?" On the cover was just a long red haired girl who stood on roof of some skyscraper in evening dress, and looked on sunset. "Hmm. 'Our Image breaker and Tele-porter joined forces to save the day whit an unusual result.' What a single line entry, to cast an interest by not telling too much. So let see." 

She opened the book nearly at end and start reading aloud. " _'I hate, you!'_ Spat the  petite girl as she burrows her face into his chest and hitting him whit her closed fist.  _'I hate, you! I hate, you! I, really, really, hate you!'_ She repeated while still slamming him. 

But the boy dint waver or defend against those hits. He doesn't sense a single malice or usual hostility from the girl, nor the strength in the blows as they slowly come to stop.

Her red twin ponytails start to shiver as she sobs trying as hard as she can to suppress her tears.  _'I can't go anymore, like this. I have something to say to you, so listen carefully, and don’t dare to run away.'_ She grabbed his shirt so forcefully, it's nearly look like she will tear it apart.  _'On the other day, when I made that master piece of picnics food, I was not thinking on Sissy when I was working on it. When we spread jokes in front of that wedding dress store, and see our reflections in the glass, see our mirror images matching the dresses, I dint imagine Sissy in the groom outfit. When that imp girl has messing around, and I go furious, I seriously was not jealous about her huge boobs. And finally yesterday on the conference, I was not jealous about you standing next to Sissy, I was jealous on my Sissy.'_ Her voice start shivers around.  _'My Sissy, god dammit!!'_ She spat angrily.  _'I am her_ _Harold_ _; I swear I will be always on her side. So tell me why?! Why, I betraying my Sissy?! Why, I hate see you whit anyone else?! Why, I don’t_ _w_ _anna leave you side?! You have no style, brain, luck or Level. And I'm good dam lesbian who still trying for my Sissy.'_ She catches the breath and got as serious as she can.  _'So listen up! It doesn't matter that you have results, and you are unlucky. I don’t care!! Because--'_ She waited for second.  _'I accuse you from thievery! The stolen item is my maiden hart. So I arresting you and I demand as a compensation that you will voluntarily hand over you hart to me! Whatever it take, I confiscating it! You don’t need to have any worries. I will, take a good care of it. So…'_ She paused and calmed down. 

What the boy heard next make him finally to react. It was the legendary line. A tree words that any person want to hear from their crush and lover. But more immortally,-- for the first time ever,-- she say his bird name and not any kind on nickname as usual. As he hugs her, and the small girl start crying in his arm whit happiness, he got tears into his eyes to.

After few minutes the girl look up to boy. And he takes his palm on her cheek. The girl closed her eyes and slightly opens her mouth. The stupid boy got it and lover his head to her… ………"

The reader suddenly lost control over the book and start protest. "Hey!! What the heck are you doing?"

.

The spiky haired boy grabbed the book and takes it away from the white haired girl. "Have you a death wish?! Or you just want raise death flag above our heads? Or are you some kind of professional pisser, who just must do it?"

"If you dint like my job description, just say it."

.

The boy clenched his right fist tightly. "Answer me this. How, can any of those here, help me whit the tournament?"

"Boy, boy… Can you tell why is that brow haired sparkly girl act sometimes like kitty who want you attention and petting, and sometimes she act like she wants you eradicate from this planet surface? Can you?"

.

"……….."

"You missing the essential knowledge that those book contains. Hmm. Maybe the format is too difficult for you to handle." She walks around the shelves looking for some more specific art. "Then how about this?" She grabbed a manga whit a ghost girl in hot spring jukata. Immediately turning her attention on back side text. "It's about a boy who comes investigate hot springs that are hunted by a ghost girl whit long silver hair. Rumors say that sometime at night, if a visitor roaming around the campus, a grudge crawling and hungry roar can be heard. And if he is unlucky enough, seeing all piercing gaze of the ghost can finalize the fate of careless traveler."

.

"That not ghost but Index and her bottomless stomach after diet routine. Stop messing whit me! I can already name the entire cast and their occupation, without even read it!"

"How about this?" She grabbed a book. On cover was four girls styled in RPG medieval theme on the road of journey. "Fifty years ago, the seven vampire matriarchs signed a peace treaty with Judgment in an effort to reach co-existence between monster and man. However, in this world of conflict and secrets, something moves beneath the surface. And unbeknownst to them, it involves the matriarch Railgun and her unusual pack of friends. Join them for the craziest adventure of their life!"

.

"Unfortunately, the series died years ago without proper ending. Don’t trying hopping that by mentioning it, the story will somehow, in a mysterious way come back to live."

The witch girl sighed heavily and starts looking the shelves again. "This looking good enough." She grabbed book whit sport motive on cover. As always she ignored the label name and start reading the back side text. "On a Daihasei Festival, in order to have at last some chance for victory, students from Certain High School pulls a couple of super heavy pranks on Tokiwadai Middle School during the official matches. But the boys highly underestimate what damage they cast on those pure maidens pride and harts. In revenge, those girls went on full crusade against those sinners. As the girls, completely outside the rules, matches and observation of Daihasei constantly hunting down all contestant of the enemy team, their wrath became evolving into something else, on what they have not been prepared by any means."

.

"There's no way that something so convenient exists in this world. If yes, it jinxed from top to the bottom. Mostly it will backfire so heavily, that I already know I want stay away from it."

"Don’t be so melodramatic, I pre read it for you." She opened the book, quickly listed to start of some capitol and start reading. "So it's time to start. The game was about tossing balls lying on field into buckets up on long sticks. The girls has been on small numbers, but at same time double terrifying that any foe around because at back of their formation stand a pair of only seven that are on level 5. The Certain High School have great numbers and have been allowed use tool and equipment whit limitation that it must be something that can be naturally, randomly found on streets and cannot be classified directly as weapon.

So the enemy decides to raise a construction site that look like tent directly on stadium field near to middle line. They sneak in items and furniture covered by white blankets so nobody can see what they are preparing. Even when they make it on side of the field, that nearly looked like nurse tent, so it possible can't interfere whit throwing the balls, unless it contain a giant table fan, whit will be against rules, it's looked too much suspicious that commentators' runs a wild theories about it and what it can be.

Before start of the match a referee comes to check the tent and very quickly make approval for it, staying silent.

Normally the game start whit a whistle bud this time it start whit a loud countdown. As this unexpected countdown start going down, Tokiwadai girls observe that on enemy team a classmates grabbed a certain spiky haired boy, who look completely confused (as they dint told him this part) and carried him into the tent.

Few second before the countdown runs out and match start the tent walls drop down, and show something as personal field restaurant. It was a nice spot for romantic dinner; whit already prepared food,  drinks , waiting waitress and musicians whit guitars'. The showy table have single sofa bench for two, and the certain male  h as already present on it,  siting in middle . Only the female site was missing-- And for that purpose a person stand front in the tent whit a large sing:  _'Limited offer. Free date whit gentlemen. Now only!_ ' 

Of course the Tokiwadai girls get immediately stunned. But on the front of their formation has standing Kongou whit her hand fan, and she overact loudly and nearly  in panicking  she turn to her team .  _'Girls, don’t fall for that trick!!'_ Even if she yells at entire group, two from the pack has already hasty marching toward the tent. So she calls for them nearly in desperation.  _'Misaka san, Shokuhou sempai, wake up, it's obviously a trap!!'_ But it was in vein, both of the girls have already been in shoulder to shoulder trying to unnoticeable (for observers) push the other one from the way. Both of them saying to other in a clever way: [Give up and get out of my way!] 

The commentators' discus about this (Certain High School) tactic and if is even legal to use. But they got to agreement that to compete talent on one side; the other must pull up adequate strategy. But on the other hand they make a joke about that those girls are from study gardens that don’t allow boys in, and the 'experiences from date' was to juicy bait to not hook on it whit all might. Especially, if we talk about the most prominent students between young ladies, whose are hungry for some love.

People on tribunes were shouting a lot on both teams.

Kongou astonished looked on those two as they invite themselves to the sofa, and literally start competing for the boy attention. The moment she gives up whit a deep sigh, she notices a movement of a ball and silent insult [idiot] from someone to someone, even though there was a noisy backdrop from the audience. She looked front on enemy team who just only stand there against them. Some of them have a sweat on their faces as they notice her gaze. Then she noticed noises on other side of game area as was the tent, and looked there.

And saw: A Entire group of High Scholl students, who sneaked out from back lines of Certain High Scholl formation at moment the game has start. As they was away from the Tokiwadai team field of view, as silently as they have managed, they all throwing their team balls into most corner bucked, taking a huge lead in match.

Kongou wide her eyes in surprise and it take second, two  taking in breath, until she start yelling  as Lady in panic.  _'AAAAAAAAAAA!!! We got tricked!!!'_

The entire stunned Tokiwadai team looks at direction as she pointing whit her hand fan. The surprised maiden reaction from before got multiplied by the entire team as they make a choral of  _'Eeeeeh?'_ And the real battle starts at moment." 

Whit the sound of book being loudly closed, the white haired girl whit a witch hat stop reading. "Read the rest by yourself!" She tries to handover that book to the boy.

.

"There's no way I voluntarily stepping on this land mine!"

"Okay, so I will read it to you before your bed time."

.

The boy sighed heavily. "Listen up. No matter how much you wish for the events to juicy up, there no way in million years that it will be any near to what you try present whit those books. The Zapper isn't this type of naive girl, not she will think for a second by this way." For moment the boy almost looks sad.

This time, it was the girl who sighed at someone ignorance. "Hey, look! If you want to know how I will do a neutral reaction on yours matter. Just ask the dam 'sparkle' for a walk. Ask her if she will just walk whit you for while and talk. Don’t forget to politely stretch you right arm to her, in order that you two will holding hands during that walk. It will be propriet for etiquette that she must follow. Secondary, because of you ability in that hand, it will prevent her getting all sparkle to you if you manage say something dummy. Then you just walk around and talk it out everything you need, or just visit arcade, movie, or accessory shops."

.

"And here we again… You are forcing that unreal image of boy-girl novel romance on the two of us. Stop acting like senile grandma who desire a grandchild's. Can we change the peace? How about we go to next section?"

"Sure, I am okay whit that. Dint knows you have grown up so much, to think in that way. The next section is of course more than twice bigger that this one and has the same Toaru feelings. But I must inform you that the next section contain adult only content. The shells are colored whit specific colors for each genre so even person covered by coat, hat, face mask, gloves and big black eye glasses, can find quickly what his hart desire."

.

"And why, you know this so accurate?"

"Well, try guess the name of author whose cheap books occupant 10% of that section. I saw a lot of those art seekers there."

.

"You dam pervert! You just want check if someone has bought any of you cheap porn books! It was total mistake for a second to think, that you will be any help. That it's I leaving!"

"Wait, if you leave right now, without reading anything, then you fail the main plot [ _of this story_ ], for what we are here."

.

"I don’t care!!!" The boy shouts loudly. He clenched tightly his right fist. "I am Kamijou Touma, and I will destroy you over stupid Illusions about fan-fiction!!" Whit this as roar he slam his right fist into that witch hated girl face, knocking her cold out. Whit angry stemming he finally depart.

When the girl wake up and look into the ceiling she starts thinking  aloud . "Wait for a moment, dint he depart whit that thick book  that he took earlier? If I get it right and that book is about  ' _Boys-R_ _omance_ ' , then the things will get interest anyway." She makes an evil grin. Then-- s he began to giggle.  A nd after a short laugh (directly from her heart), she stood up and decided to leave the  book store to. But not until she will visit a certain section and check her books for marks of readings by readers.

**Author's Note:**

> I have so much fun writing this FF. I hope you have fun reading it. Thank you all for being awesome. Thank for this IDF challenge that make possible to put so much of the crazy FF stories that I have in mind (bud dint fit into my main FF story) to pull out on single story as this one. I on purpose dint say the name of 'the girl' for not spoiling anything, but most of you probably already know. So at the end I will say this: "Wake up you Soul! It's never too late."


End file.
